Im Leben von mir

All I seem to need
Is this gun to be real
Not a toy with its
Humiliating plastic barrel
And its stupig aluminum trigger
Laughing at me grows the pain even bigger

What I?m really dealing with
If my ceiling was massive
I could drill a hole
Screw in a hook
Adjust the sling
And

By now I?m sure the audience has learned
It?s my courage keeping me from bringing it to the end
And I?m done!
I?m done pretending and I?m done trying
Done being the miserable shit
I?m done lying
I don?t wanna die
But living means fighting
And I?m weak

There?s no help for me
But learning to be
Living in favor for me
With my loving but lurking best friend BPD